No, I'm Not Young Yet & I May Not Change My Mind.

My co-worker just stared at me, dumb-founded.  Maybe he hadn't heard me? So I said it again:

"I don't want to have my own kids."

"Ever!?" He looked lost and sad, like I had told him that world was indeed flat which, guessing by his reaction, was pretty much what I did.

"Yeah.  I'll adopt someday, but I just don't want to carry."

"Really?" Same expression.

Another co-worker chimed in. "You'll change your mind."

"Yeah, you're young yet."

This conversation has happened MANY times and by every side of the binary: friends/coworkers/family, male/female, young/old, married/single.  Often (and unfortunately), this takes place after I share that I have step-kids.   "Don't you want to have kids of your own?" Ugh.  This question is problematic as it suggests: 1. My step-kids are mere fixtures or hurdles in my life, and 2. My being a step-mom is a fixture in their life.

I love my step-kids as if they were my own. Do I wish I could have do-over moments? Well, duh, what parent doesn't?  But to suggest that our alternative family should need a do-over, a (their words) "real" kid, to address that is incredibly insulting.  Or that their love for me is somehow lesser because my genetic make-up is different than theirs.  Family is what you pour into it, what you share, and what you take.  Our bloodlines may be different, but it's all warm and red (or blue if it's not yet oxygenated) so it's not that different, is it?

Similarly, is the idea of adoption.  I just haven't had the intentional desire to carry a baby.  I certainly have had urges, but those urges left as quickly as they came.  Someone tried to explain that that urge was actually the voice of God.  Hmm, well if I indulged every urge of mine the voice of God, I would either be: a strung-out Suicide Girl, morbidly obese from chocolate cupcakes, or a dog hoarder (I'm pretty sure God doesn't use her/his/their voice to condone any of this). You know what has never left me though?  The concept of having a family through the means of adoption.

I'm not sure why this is a point of contention.  It seems unthinkable to some.  I've been accused of being immature or selfish or a femi-Nazi.  My being those things might be true, but this decision is not its result.  I have the ability to choose and my choice is solely my own based on my thoughts, perceptions and intentional desires for my life.

I've used that term "intentional desire" twice now, and I want to expand a little on that thought.  There are desires (fleeting indulgences) and then there are intentional desires:  pleasurable, yearned for pursuits which may flitter or flicker but whose flame never die out. Serious, hardcore intentional desires of mine have included: getting a B.A., getting a Masters, creation and publication of my art and others' art, falling (and staying) in love with my life partner, getting a PhD, and having children.  And I can say that I have seen through to completion all but one of my intentional desires--still no PhD.  As you can see, I count stepchildren as equivalent to adoption as equivalent to pushing a baby out of my vagina and keeping it.

The issue of birthing, raising, and having children is as personal as politics and religion. That doesn't mean it can't be discussed and ideas can't be shared, but please do not presume to know what makes for a "real" family or that my age or personality somehow weighs into this.  No, it is not a waste of my eggs nor is it an abomination to my gender/biological makeup and no, no, no! Your story of your cousin who said she didn't want to have kids of her own then ended up with four will not be my story nor change my mind.  It is simply that: her story.

My choice isn't as strange as it seems, but even if it does seem strange to you, I'm happy to discuss it--just mind your manners, and check your catch-phrases (along with any scriptures, pamphlets, and soapbox testimonies) at the door.

The Constant Battle

Routine vs Change

I'm in a constant battle with my workouts. The two contenders in this duel are routine and change: Do I stick to a solid routine or do I constantly change it up so I don't get bored?

I love both of these concepts. I love getting REALLY good at something while constantly growing stronger and pushing myself to beat my personal bests. It feels good to blast through goals and push yourself farther than you thought possible. I've followed a couple workout plans, doing the same exercises week after week. Leg day consists of the same exercises every week. Arms day, back day, etc, always the same. This is good for me. I can get into a workout and not have to reference anything on what my next move is or how many reps to do. This is also good for me because (when I keep a workout journal) I can see, week from week, how far I've come and how strong I've gotten. It's exciting to see that I'm squatting double what I started with weeks ago or blew last weeks reps out of the water. A routine also keeps me on track. I know X is leg day and Y is back and triceps. There's no guessing and it becomes just like brushing your teeth; it's just what you do.

Then there is change. I embrace change. I hate getting bored and I get bored easily! This probably has something to do with my only-child-syndrome or my slight, self-diagnosed-ADD-ism. Whatever the reason may be, it's fun to try new things and keep it interesting. Keeping your muscles confused and even finding new muscles you didn't know you had!

My problem with change is that if I don't have a workout scheduled, and I have to find a new workout day to day, it's easier for me to brush the workout off entirely. I know this is only cheating myself, but it's different (in my brain) to skip leg day than it is to skip a non-planned workout. I feel more like I'm "cheating" if I skip out on a plan rather than fail to find a workout for the day. It's a lot easier to get busy and not make time for an unplanned workout. But skipping my leg day* is like skipping breakfast or not brushing your teeth; you just wouldn't do that, would you???

So what does one do? I don't want to get bored but a routine is more likely to set me up for success. I want both! (Again, only-child-syndrome.)

On a side note: We use Roku for our television viewing. If you are unfamiliar with Roku, it's a little box that you hook up to your t.v. and you can stream channels such as Netflix and Hulu.  That being said, there is a channel (free!!) on Roku called Daily Burn. The hubby discovered this one day while searching through the available channels. It wasn't until recently that we actually checked it out. It's GLORIOUS! There are tons of FREE workouts to choose from, on demand (like Netflix but for workouts). There are some great kettle bell workouts, peaceful yoga workouts, fun dancing workouts and much more. I've followed a couple of them and it's so much fun. I can't believe this is free! This new found outlet is an excellent tool for changing up my workouts. If you have Roku, please check this out!

What's your take on Routine or Change? What keeps you going?



* I constantly reference "leg day" because it is my favorite. Squats and deadlifts engender horrible albeit magnificent pain!

Apps that make life easy

There are ALL kinds of smartphone apps that help you keep track of your fitness.  Everything from running apps for beginners like Couch to 5k, My Fitness Pal that helps to keep track of your daily intake and exercise and one of my favorites is Nike Training Club, an app that times your exercises, walks you through each workout pulls music from your own library to workout to and gives you all the info on how many calories you burned.

With all these apps available, it is hard to decipher which are beneficial and which are just a waste of your money.  My newest download is the eMeals app.  So far, this app is AWESOME! So great in fact that I bought a subscription to the service.  What's the service you ask? It's a complete meal plan with an automatically generated shopping list.  Now I know there are apps out there that may provide this service for free, however, this one actually includes a PALEO meal plan! EEEK

For those of you who have other dietary lifestyles, there are 11 different meal plans to choose from including Vegetarian, Gluten Free, Clean Eating and Slow Cooker. (sorry there's no Vegan option)

This app includes all the recipes and shopping list for a week's worth of dinners.  You can also buy a subscription for Breakfasts and lunches as well.  The retail price is a little expensive for the average consumer, HOWEVER I am the queen of shopping and found a Groupon for 3 different subscription options - 12 Months of Dinner Planning ($29 regularly $58), 12 Months of Lunch and Dinner Planning ($39 regularly $106) or 12 Months of Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner planning ($49 regularly $142). But hurry as I don't know when the Groupon will expire!

The recipes sound amazing and the website that goes with the app allows you to download the meal plans which includes the shopping list!

I'm in love with how easy this will be to eat Paleo.  Maybe I wont be 100% Paleo 80% of the time anymore!

Controversy: Love Your Body NO MATTER What Size

I’m writing this blog today hoping that those close to me won’t roll their eyes having to read what I’ve been bitching about the last couple of weeks. Ah, well… here goes:

Recently on a Fitness blog (er, Facebook page, rather) the admin wrote that when people claim to love their body at any size, it was a cop-out that kept people from pushing hard in the gym and from achieving health. I say: Yes and No.

Yes, for some it is a cop-out phrase.  In fact, most of us have used it circumstantially: indulging in one more slice (small, I swear!) of chocolate cake, hitting the snooze button instead of hitting the gym (what’s one rest day?), or swinging through Carl’s Jr. for their $6 Bacon Guacamole Burger (lots of protein in that, right? But hold the onions because they make me gassy). Those are just a few *ahem* random examples. ;-P

And again, that phrase “Love your body at any size” is entirely circumstantial. I do not know a single woman at ANY size or level of physique that has fully and adequately loved their body.  With all this self-denigrating, body-loathing so pervasive in our culture, this is just the TIP of why this fitness blog admin’s post pisses me off. She went on to say she just meant “unhealthy size”.  That was the exact term she used, with no index of what “unhealthy size” meant. The coupling of this term is problematic. Here’s why:

“Unhealthy” could mean incorporation of any of the following: 

--Consumption of sugar, salt, processed foods 
--Consumption of dairy, non-pasteurized dairy 
 --Consumption of meat 
--Consumption of carbs; grains, wheat 
--Consumption of alcohol 
--Eating more than 3 times a day 
--Eating less than 5-6 small meals a day 
--Eating fat/Not eating any fat/Eating low-fat 

You and I can sit here all day and argue for and against each of these bullet points. Fruit contains sugar—should I cut that out? The protein powders used and highly regarded on that Fitness blog (as well as many others) contain both salt and processing (sugar as well!), so should those be eliminated? Dairy causes inflammation; meat is murder (please don’t sue me for infringement, Morissey) and can spike our cholesterol. But dairy and meat both contain excellent proteins (where do you think we get whey protein from!?) Also, wine and beer have proven to be good for both the memory and the heart, carbs = energy, and fat is good for heart and joint health. As far as meals go, 5-6 small meals can wreak havoc on a stomach if there is no digestive “rest” and eating only 3 meals a day can lower energy levels and bodily processes.

So there it is. Everything healthy is really unhealthy and vice-versa, right? Well, no, that’s not the point. Because the human body is so dynamic and complex, “healthy” is an adjective. It’s a descriptor, not a noun or classification. My friend who suffers from celiac disease can’t eat gluten, but I can. My other friend who has a family history of high cholesterol and heart disease won’t eat meat, but I do (too many nut proteins cause my skin to break out). My husband drinks copious amounts of coffee and would close down a Starbucks in an hour if they ever offered all-you-can-drink-French-Roast and is in tip-top running shape like a sleek cheetah, but if I have more than two cups I’m having an anxiety attack.

As an adjective, “healthy” contains more shades of grey than that damn book I can’t bring myself to read. What works for me does not work for you, and vice versa. I can’t run hard with my bum knee; a friend of mine can’t do certain lifting or asanas because of her bum back. Luckily, there are many ways to color ourselves “healthy” beyond the "what works for that chick/dude" mentality.

This brings me to the misuse of the word “size”. We all know Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 in her day (which I think is what we call an 8 or 10 now?). But I also know that Scarlett Johansen, J-Lo and Kim Kardashian are not size 2s and they are still physically delicious (I know debatable).  Even Alicia Marie or Kim Lyon (Fitness & Figure competitors) won’t fit a size 2 and their weight (not fat percentile) is actually in the mid-upper range of what constitutes a healthy BMI. Curiously enough, in looking at that Fitness blog admin’s photos, one friend commented how it did not inspire her while another found the photos wholly inspiring. The difference is not in the fault of the blog admin's body, but in each of my friends’ own ideas of what they wanted to achieve personally: leaning out and being thin and ripped, or gaining muscle mass and definition without cutting.

Again the beauty of the human body is how different we all are. Our bodies are literally different shapes (often described as endo-/ecto-/meso-morphs) and capable of pushing different boundaries. There is no one single fitness regimen/eating plan that fits every single person.

THE ONLY SHOULD THAT SHOULD EXIST IS THIS: 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD IN FACT LOVE THEIR BODY NO MATTER WHAT SIZE OR SHAPE. (And men, this can include you, as well, but as this is an unfortunate soul-sucking, self-denigrating discussion among us in the vaginally-equipped community I’m directing my discussion and gendered terms/pronouns there.) 

Loving is a verb, an action word. If we are incapable of loving ourselves and that means ALL of ourselves, then we are forever unhealthy. We all love people who have characteristics or habits that piss us off, and yet we still love them, right? So why can’t we love all of ourselves in spite of our perceived flaws?

Specific to this blog: Love your body right now. Love those curves, those stretch marks, love all over those sagging parts, those scarred or atrophied places. The moment you realize that those are all wonderful pieces worthy of your attention, you will be granted the freedom to do with them what you will. Eat and train to create them into what you want, or leave them as they are in their natural occurring state. You can always love your body no matter what size, without having to love that size.  That number doesn't carry any value until you assign it value.  The joy and beauty lies in it being your choice—your choice to love yourself as you wish and NO ONE, not me nor Hollywood nor the IFBB nor that admin on that Fitness blog can ever tell you what that should look like, and ESPECIALLY never ever ever to tell you to not love yourself as you are. 

And that, my friends, is what happens when you piss off a dirty hippy. She writes a blog post and sends you all love.

Love and light, especially to that Fitness blogger.

Share The Road, PLEASE!

I really meant to say "dammit" in place of "please" but I'm going to try and keep a Zen attitude during this post.

I am a runner. I may run slow and I may not run very far, but I feel I have earned this title. A lot of blood, sweat and tears (literally, all of them) have gone into the making of said runner status. But I'll be dammed if getting up at 4:00 a.m. (a few days, even earlier) just to run before work, doesn't earn me the runner's badge!

Since my husband and I have taken up running, we've experienced a few bottom feeders, if you will.

*Let me preface this by saying we usually run in our neighborhood. You know, 25 miles an hour/stop signs everywhere kind of thing.

Case in point:

One morning the hubby and I were out for our run. It was 5:00 am, still dark outside and barely any traffic. We came to an entrance to one of the subdivisions within our community. We are part way into the street and a car rolls up to the stop sign. He looked right at us, and then failed to STOP at the aforementioned stop sign. Hub was a little behind me and he ran behind the car, while I was already in front of it. This guy almost HIT me, with his car. I'd say in that war, car would probably win. Luckily, I barely scraped by, with my life intact. I know I run slow, but running me over would cause you a lot more problems than the two extra seconds you'll have to wait for me to pass. SHARE THE ROAD, PLEASE!

One beautiful, sunny afternoon I went out for a run around our neighborhood. The main road that runs through it is a giant, two mile loop. There are sidewalks on the inside and outside of the loop. I was running the outer loop. I'm running in the middle of the sidewalk and ahead, I see a lady on a bicycle riding towards me. I move over to one side, as to make room for both of us to pass (there is plenty of room for this). The lady on the bike stays smack-dab in the middle of the sidewalk. As we approach each other, I'm thinking, Surely she will move over. Right? She's going to move over. She already saw me move to one side. Now it's her turn. We get right up to each other and the lady DOESN'T MOVE! I literally had to jump out of the way, into the rocks, at the last minute to avoid a collision.  Bike lady didn't even blink an eye. Immediately after the incident she says aloud, "You're on the wrong side of the road!" and rides on by. WHAT?!?! Seriously?? SHARE THE ROAD, PLEASE!

I know, I know, ultimately it's my responsibility. And I am very cautious while I'm out and very aware of my surroundings. There is only so much I have control over, however. I know there are bad seeds out there, and I'm not judging everyone based off of them. Most of the people I pass are very pleasant and even say, "Hello"! It becomes a problem though, when it goes beyond rude people and becomes a possibly dangerous situation. It's a gorgeous time in Arizona right now and there is plenty of room for everyone to enjoy it.

**End Rant**

Now get out there and enjoy this gorgeous weather!

SWEAT…..My Guilty Pleasure

When I was fat, miserable, and completely unhealthy, I used to sweat just walking, and I didn’t walk enough. I despised sweat. It was so GROSS, ewwwww. Today, though I have a new guilty pleasure: I desire sweat. Sweat and I have fallen in love…..and this is how I got there.

When I first started to work out at almost 250 pounds after my second child was born, I was my own worst enemy. I would work out and eat well one day and then have a bad day (eat some pizza rolls and ice cream) and let the ONE bad day turn into BAD YEARS. At about 26 years old I was told that if I didn't lose the weight I would be diabetic by thirty.

This is where the MAGIC happened. 

I committed myself to working out and eating healthier. I didn't want the quick fix anymore, I didn't cry when I exercised. I became a machine, I became strong, I became patient, and I lost 100 pounds. It only took me FIVE long years, (yup no Biggest Loser fast fixes in the real world folks) but I did it!

I didn't give up. I didn't let one bad day turn into shame, guilt and fat in which made me HATE myself. Sure I still have bad days, I’m not perfect. I recently gained back a few pounds, I hope its muscle but I’m sure it was the blue cheese fries and bread I recently indulged on in San Diego. The biggest difference is NOW when I have those days of imperfection, whether it is in my nutrition, physical triumphs or fails, or life in general I know anything worth while has to involve SWEAT. I sweat often, and I sweat proud.

Work Hard Ladies and Gentlemen, make every minute of your exercise count. Become a sweat machine. 

(Image courtesy of Fitness World on Facebook.)

 

Here are a few benefits of sweating it OUT:

1. Sweat is your body's natural way of removing toxins- Sweating helps remove toxins and disease from the system. Up to 30% of the body's waste is removed through sweat. In many countries, at the first sign of illness, a dry sauna is often the first step towards avoiding or reducing symptoms... a good sweat has the power to stop a cold in its tracks.

2. Sweating can improve cardiovascular health- When your body heats up and starts to sweat, you breathe faster and the heart works harder to improve circulation in order to return your body to a normal temperature. Regularly working up a good sweat can have long-term benefits for these reasons; your heart is a muscle, so you know it's getting a workout when you sweat.

3. Sweating helps you lose weight faster- Exercise is a key component in weight loss. Aside from all the physical benefits, as the body heats up through exercise, water-soluble fat leaves the body in the form of sweat. We've all heard people talk about "burning calories" and"melting off pounds"... little do they realize that really is what's taking place!

4. Sweating can beautify your skin- As sweat moves out of the body through the skin, it unclogs pores, and this in turn can help clear up acne and other skin conditions. Heavy sweating, when done regularly, can help to slow down the early signs of skin damage and aging.

5. Sweating helps to relieve stress- Endorphins are chemicals that are released by the body in certain situations such as stress, fear or pain. When you sweat from exercise, endorphins are released. This helps to not only give you that "second wind" or “runners high” to power through your workout, but it also helps to brighten your mood and lower stress levels. Passive sweating (such as from sitting in a steam room) can also be very therapeutic and has been associated with reduced levels of stress.

It's not a Diet, it's a Lifestyle!

We HATE the word diet, as a diet to most people is only a temporary change . . . We encourage you to change your lifestyle, as it is a change in your mindset, not just a change in what you eat!  This IS the way WE live.

We will have many delicious Paleo, Primal, Vegan and Vegetarian inspired recipes to share in the coming months. We all have different likes and dislikes that we will incorporate to give you the best possible nutrition for whatever fitness lifestyle you lead. 

Hi, I'm Kat and I'm a Vegan

Ok, so I don't normally go around announcing my veganism. It's not even a "thing" to me anymore, it's just what I eat; or don't eat. But boy, when it DOES come out, people gasp.

Why is vegan such a bad word? Some people look at me like I just ate their first born. Which I wouldn't do, of course, I don't eat meat.

So let me clear a few things up:

• No, I'm not a member of PETA. Most of my bags and some of my shoes are made of leather. (Vegan hasn't made its way to other aspects of my life *yet*.)
• Yes, I get plenty of protein, but thanks for your concern.
• I'm not on a diet, it's just my lifestyle.
• I eat things such as; Chick'n & Turk'y. Tofurky was the main course at Christmas dinner.
• I'm not a hippy but I do make some damn good homemade granola.
• I am still on the fence about honey. Technically speaking, honey is not vegan. But, it's a wonderful, natural sweetener and still finds its way into some of my recipes.
• If you eat meat, I don't care, won't judge you and will never try to convert you to the dark side.

Well, I guess it's out there! I'm a vegan and there's nothing you can do about it. Please don't disinvite me from your barbeques; I can and will eat the shit out of some grilled veggies!!