Showing posts with label Self-Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Love. Show all posts

Monday, August 12, 2013

Summertime Blues

Summertime and its joys of laughter and sunshine are coming to an end for many of us!  For some of the writers here at MM&M, kids will be heading back to school soon, making way for more hours available in the gym for the stay at home moms, for others the end of summer means returning to work as dedicated teachers and finding less time for themselves.

As for me, I really have no excuse not to make it to my box as my hours are the same regardless of the time of year.  I have the same job at the same company that I have had for the last 7 1/2 years, however I can't figure out where my time goes!

Time management is one of my biggest downfalls, especially since graduating in December.  I have no more homework and after work I have a tendency to not want to do anything unless it involves hanging out with my hubby!  This week my time has been sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing trying to get rid of the migraine I have had since Saturday.  But what about next week?

What do you do to keep you motivated and on track with your workouts? 

On a side note, I am making progress at my box and am appreciative of the dedication that my coach has to push me as hard as possible.  I went out with friends last week in a dress that I would never have worn before.  I felt great!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

A Moment of Madness & Hippy Self-love Speak

Right now I'm sneaking a break between a massive overhaul of cleaning the house.  We're having family come stay a few days with us to celebrate my stepson's graduating high school (I CANNOT believe it's happening already!), and spaces that are already clean somehow don't look clean enough (of course).

On a wonderful note, dusting and scrubbing is a bitch because I pounded out an arm work-out from hell yesterday and the guns are banging (or some better metaphor like that).  I love to complain (brag) when my body is sore.

The man-candy is amazing, gripping a bottle of bleach in one hand and a Swiffer duster in the other. In our house, there are no gender roles regarding chores, just "I'll trade you mopping and I'll clean the toilet" and other forms of bartering.  I hate mopping. HATE it. Thus, enter the chore bartering and of course obligatory Bloody Marys to lessen the pain. 

What is it about company, particularly family, that stresses us to put our homes on best behavior?  It makes me wonder: What am I hiding? What am I afraid of? At this exact moment, I'm not wearing deodorant (you all remember that post, right?) and the man-candy still gropes me as we pass along the stairs.  So what am I really worried about?

To which I answer, nothing (except getting eating by carnivorous dust bunnies hiding under the sofa), because admitting to myself that I am worried that family might find me dirty or not good enough is embarrassing to admit (even to myself). 

There's a lot to be said about putting your best self forward, but what if your best self is the self you are everyday, with all its grit and failure and quirk?  What if we stopped hyper-cleaning these spaces for other people and clean them well enough for ourselves? 

I have dusted already this morning and even now (in the early afternoon) there is a thick layer of bright yellow pollen settling on all my furniture.  It is the season for merciless shedding of pine pollen and no amount of dusting (twice a day) makes it stop.

I've done my part, I've cleaned and Nature will still have her feisty way with me. Fine then, I'll surrender to being less than perfect, if sterile furniture is somehow a litmus for perfection.  Chances are, my family will still love me even if the veneer of pollen sticks to the tables and sills, or if the shower doors aren't scrubbed quite clear enough or if my dog Juno lets out a tart, ripe fart while we share a cup of coffee.  The reality is, I need to love myself enough that those things won't block me from my enjoying the present moment of being with family.


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Controversy: Love Your Body NO MATTER What Size

I’m writing this blog today hoping that those close to me won’t roll their eyes having to read what I’ve been bitching about the last couple of weeks. Ah, well… here goes:

Recently on a Fitness blog (er, Facebook page, rather) the admin wrote that when people claim to love their body at any size, it was a cop-out that kept people from pushing hard in the gym and from achieving health. I say: Yes and No.

Yes, for some it is a cop-out phrase.  In fact, most of us have used it circumstantially: indulging in one more slice (small, I swear!) of chocolate cake, hitting the snooze button instead of hitting the gym (what’s one rest day?), or swinging through Carl’s Jr. for their $6 Bacon Guacamole Burger (lots of protein in that, right? But hold the onions because they make me gassy). Those are just a few *ahem* random examples. ;-P

And again, that phrase “Love your body at any size” is entirely circumstantial. I do not know a single woman at ANY size or level of physique that has fully and adequately loved their body.  With all this self-denigrating, body-loathing so pervasive in our culture, this is just the TIP of why this fitness blog admin’s post pisses me off. She went on to say she just meant “unhealthy size”.  That was the exact term she used, with no index of what “unhealthy size” meant. The coupling of this term is problematic. Here’s why:

“Unhealthy” could mean incorporation of any of the following: 

--Consumption of sugar, salt, processed foods 
--Consumption of dairy, non-pasteurized dairy 
 --Consumption of meat 
--Consumption of carbs; grains, wheat 
--Consumption of alcohol 
--Eating more than 3 times a day 
--Eating less than 5-6 small meals a day 
--Eating fat/Not eating any fat/Eating low-fat 

You and I can sit here all day and argue for and against each of these bullet points. Fruit contains sugar—should I cut that out? The protein powders used and highly regarded on that Fitness blog (as well as many others) contain both salt and processing (sugar as well!), so should those be eliminated? Dairy causes inflammation; meat is murder (please don’t sue me for infringement, Morissey) and can spike our cholesterol. But dairy and meat both contain excellent proteins (where do you think we get whey protein from!?) Also, wine and beer have proven to be good for both the memory and the heart, carbs = energy, and fat is good for heart and joint health. As far as meals go, 5-6 small meals can wreak havoc on a stomach if there is no digestive “rest” and eating only 3 meals a day can lower energy levels and bodily processes.

So there it is. Everything healthy is really unhealthy and vice-versa, right? Well, no, that’s not the point. Because the human body is so dynamic and complex, “healthy” is an adjective. It’s a descriptor, not a noun or classification. My friend who suffers from celiac disease can’t eat gluten, but I can. My other friend who has a family history of high cholesterol and heart disease won’t eat meat, but I do (too many nut proteins cause my skin to break out). My husband drinks copious amounts of coffee and would close down a Starbucks in an hour if they ever offered all-you-can-drink-French-Roast and is in tip-top running shape like a sleek cheetah, but if I have more than two cups I’m having an anxiety attack.

As an adjective, “healthy” contains more shades of grey than that damn book I can’t bring myself to read. What works for me does not work for you, and vice versa. I can’t run hard with my bum knee; a friend of mine can’t do certain lifting or asanas because of her bum back. Luckily, there are many ways to color ourselves “healthy” beyond the "what works for that chick/dude" mentality.

This brings me to the misuse of the word “size”. We all know Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 in her day (which I think is what we call an 8 or 10 now?). But I also know that Scarlett Johansen, J-Lo and Kim Kardashian are not size 2s and they are still physically delicious (I know debatable).  Even Alicia Marie or Kim Lyon (Fitness & Figure competitors) won’t fit a size 2 and their weight (not fat percentile) is actually in the mid-upper range of what constitutes a healthy BMI. Curiously enough, in looking at that Fitness blog admin’s photos, one friend commented how it did not inspire her while another found the photos wholly inspiring. The difference is not in the fault of the blog admin's body, but in each of my friends’ own ideas of what they wanted to achieve personally: leaning out and being thin and ripped, or gaining muscle mass and definition without cutting.

Again the beauty of the human body is how different we all are. Our bodies are literally different shapes (often described as endo-/ecto-/meso-morphs) and capable of pushing different boundaries. There is no one single fitness regimen/eating plan that fits every single person.

THE ONLY SHOULD THAT SHOULD EXIST IS THIS: 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD IN FACT LOVE THEIR BODY NO MATTER WHAT SIZE OR SHAPE. (And men, this can include you, as well, but as this is an unfortunate soul-sucking, self-denigrating discussion among us in the vaginally-equipped community I’m directing my discussion and gendered terms/pronouns there.) 

Loving is a verb, an action word. If we are incapable of loving ourselves and that means ALL of ourselves, then we are forever unhealthy. We all love people who have characteristics or habits that piss us off, and yet we still love them, right? So why can’t we love all of ourselves in spite of our perceived flaws?

Specific to this blog: Love your body right now. Love those curves, those stretch marks, love all over those sagging parts, those scarred or atrophied places. The moment you realize that those are all wonderful pieces worthy of your attention, you will be granted the freedom to do with them what you will. Eat and train to create them into what you want, or leave them as they are in their natural occurring state. You can always love your body no matter what size, without having to love that size.  That number doesn't carry any value until you assign it value.  The joy and beauty lies in it being your choice—your choice to love yourself as you wish and NO ONE, not me nor Hollywood nor the IFBB nor that admin on that Fitness blog can ever tell you what that should look like, and ESPECIALLY never ever ever to tell you to not love yourself as you are. 

And that, my friends, is what happens when you piss off a dirty hippy. She writes a blog post and sends you all love.

Love and light, especially to that Fitness blogger.