Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Yes, I Like the Smell of My Own Armpits

Most of the time, I don't wear deodorant.  When I do, it's not for me, it's for you.  I actually like my own sweet, tart pungent smell.  I especially like it when I've been working out, but even more so if I've been lingering in the sun all day and it mixes in with that slight baked skin smell.  For me, it's reminiscent of warmth and security. 

But, there are rules.

Rule Number 1.  I must shower first thing before sweating.  When bed smell mixes with armpit, it's just not right.  It's musty, lazy, and somber.  It smells like dried out dust instead of its glorious counterpart--sweet red clay.  So, before laying in the sun all day, or getting in a work out I have to shower.  I may or may not rinse off after either of these activities but that's irrelevant.  What is most important (in terms of going deodorant-free) is that initial shower.

Rule Number 2.  I can't be going anywhere where smell is crucial.  This leaves work, job interviews, and fancy soirees caked with thick layers of Degree under my arms.  I'm not sure how that white film goes over at fancy soirees (which may be the reason why I don't really get invited to  soirees, fancy or otherwise), but it lets me not worry about how my body odor  may or may not be affecting my colleagues or potential employers.  Again, when I wear deodorant, it's not about me, it's about you.  I actually have to remind myself to put deodorant on when I'm leaving the house.

And it's not just my own smell I enjoy.  Secretly, I like other people's body odor.  That is, when they follow the rules.  I remember dating a guy once who smelled like a burrito, a girlfriend of who smelled like a sour honeysuckle, and my husband who is a mix of sourdough bread and bitter ale.  I sniffed them when they weren't looking.  I sniffed them when they were.  And, if I ever run into you in public and you give me a hug, I'll sniff you, too.  Just please remember, mind the rules.

1 comment:

  1. Crack up! Love it I think secretly we all do this lol :)