No, I'm Not Young Yet & I May Not Change My Mind.

My co-worker just stared at me, dumb-founded.  Maybe he hadn't heard me? So I said it again:

"I don't want to have my own kids."

"Ever!?" He looked lost and sad, like I had told him that world was indeed flat which, guessing by his reaction, was pretty much what I did.

"Yeah.  I'll adopt someday, but I just don't want to carry."

"Really?" Same expression.

Another co-worker chimed in. "You'll change your mind."

"Yeah, you're young yet."

This conversation has happened MANY times and by every side of the binary: friends/coworkers/family, male/female, young/old, married/single.  Often (and unfortunately), this takes place after I share that I have step-kids.   "Don't you want to have kids of your own?" Ugh.  This question is problematic as it suggests: 1. My step-kids are mere fixtures or hurdles in my life, and 2. My being a step-mom is a fixture in their life.

I love my step-kids as if they were my own. Do I wish I could have do-over moments? Well, duh, what parent doesn't?  But to suggest that our alternative family should need a do-over, a (their words) "real" kid, to address that is incredibly insulting.  Or that their love for me is somehow lesser because my genetic make-up is different than theirs.  Family is what you pour into it, what you share, and what you take.  Our bloodlines may be different, but it's all warm and red (or blue if it's not yet oxygenated) so it's not that different, is it?

Similarly, is the idea of adoption.  I just haven't had the intentional desire to carry a baby.  I certainly have had urges, but those urges left as quickly as they came.  Someone tried to explain that that urge was actually the voice of God.  Hmm, well if I indulged every urge of mine the voice of God, I would either be: a strung-out Suicide Girl, morbidly obese from chocolate cupcakes, or a dog hoarder (I'm pretty sure God doesn't use her/his/their voice to condone any of this). You know what has never left me though?  The concept of having a family through the means of adoption.

I'm not sure why this is a point of contention.  It seems unthinkable to some.  I've been accused of being immature or selfish or a femi-Nazi.  My being those things might be true, but this decision is not its result.  I have the ability to choose and my choice is solely my own based on my thoughts, perceptions and intentional desires for my life.

I've used that term "intentional desire" twice now, and I want to expand a little on that thought.  There are desires (fleeting indulgences) and then there are intentional desires:  pleasurable, yearned for pursuits which may flitter or flicker but whose flame never die out. Serious, hardcore intentional desires of mine have included: getting a B.A., getting a Masters, creation and publication of my art and others' art, falling (and staying) in love with my life partner, getting a PhD, and having children.  And I can say that I have seen through to completion all but one of my intentional desires--still no PhD.  As you can see, I count stepchildren as equivalent to adoption as equivalent to pushing a baby out of my vagina and keeping it.

The issue of birthing, raising, and having children is as personal as politics and religion. That doesn't mean it can't be discussed and ideas can't be shared, but please do not presume to know what makes for a "real" family or that my age or personality somehow weighs into this.  No, it is not a waste of my eggs nor is it an abomination to my gender/biological makeup and no, no, no! Your story of your cousin who said she didn't want to have kids of her own then ended up with four will not be my story nor change my mind.  It is simply that: her story.

My choice isn't as strange as it seems, but even if it does seem strange to you, I'm happy to discuss it--just mind your manners, and check your catch-phrases (along with any scriptures, pamphlets, and soapbox testimonies) at the door.

"Authenticity" or "The Retraction Post" or "Part 2: Goal Setting & Re-Assessing & Wide Open Spaces"

(This is a part two to a blog I wrote several weeks ago.  Visit it here if you haven't read it already.)


I came *this* close to signing up for Yoga Teacher Training….



And I did.



Here’s what happened:



I had focused too much on the teaching aspect.  That is, the stand in front of the room and present my truth so everyone can get to their truth and ultimately the Truth.  This isn’t necessarily bad, but my hard-wired fear-based loop-feed refused to quit and it spun me into circles of not being bendy enough, not knowing enough, not devouring enough, and worse yet…not being authentic enough.



My fear of not being authentic has driven much of my action since I was a small child.  It is the reason that I avoided calling myself a Poet until more recent years. ( I claim that title with honor and great privilege now.)



If you ask a person what it is (s)he does, (s)he will often reply with what (s)he does as a job/career.  I do not make a sustainable income as a Poet, Editor, Freelance Writer, nor a would-be Yogi (see how I still trip up over the language here?).  Because my job history averages 8-9 hour days administrating it in one form or another, I had long-held the similar habit of answering, “I’m a Legal Administrator" or  "I’m an Administrative Assistant.”   Never have I once answered, “I’m a multi-passionate human being simply be-ing.”



What would happen if I said that?  Would it make her/him uncomfortable? Wouldn’t their response be, “Well yes but what do you do for a living?”  Isn’t simply be-ing what we do for a living?  No one ever asks a cat what it does; it is simply a cat.



Money drives our culture and society; easily arguable, the world over.  There is no escaping the need for it as we’ve collectively agreed to impress on it a value that moves  and drives each of us in specific ways, good or bad.  But why should my be-ing root from my method of currency?

THAT feels inauthentic to me.



And having finally recognized where I feel most inauthentic, where I struggle feeling ok with my be-ing as equivocal to my income, is where I can finally interrupt that fear-based loop-feed with honesty and even brand new reason to fear, and say,” Fuck fear.”  Fuck it, because it won’t go away until you’ve seen it through to its end.  Fuck it (literally), because once you’ve intimately and sexually known someone isn’t it more relaxing and fun the next time around?  And Fuck it, because there will always be something uncomfortable and scary.



Again, my authenticity is in my be-ing, not in my do-ing because so long as I am be-ing with intention and conscientiousness, then I cannot help but do.



And that is why I signed up for Yoga Teacher Training through Big Bear Yoga.  And I am still in pursuit of working under Sri Siri Dharma Galliano, my Kundalini teacher.  And, if you remember from my last post, I can already feel the wide open spaces of the universe stretching themselves for me as I am stretching myself for Universe.  See, I am already be-ing, thus I am already do-ing.  I'll leave it to you to figure out what that “really” means.  If you want.

 

Summer Alcohol

I never thought I'd be a beer chick, but this summer has brought on a whole new level of consumption.

The man-candy and I have spent much of our summer together working around the house: building the veggie beds, rebuilding and staining our deck, and doing a second run through spring cleaning (involving lots of yard-selling, speaking of which, I have an excellent elliptical and 2 punching bags up for sale...).   

As the temps rise (relatively speaking: we've actually hit 90 this summer when we typically average about 78 degrees; and yes, this is noteworthy.), I notice I drink more beer than wine (and I LOVE my red wine.) Hell, I'm craving it more than water. 

I've never really been a beer person and started off with the lighter brews (Budweiser) but hated it and jumped to Heineken and Heffeweizen. In more recent years, I'm nuts over Firestone (Double IPA or Union Jack) and Sierra Nevada (Rockin' Rye or Torpedo) on a hot-sun-beating-on-my-back kind of day. White wine has never been my thing, lemon water just isn't cutting it, and I'm not really into soda pop or juices. 

But what's a woman to do when she loves a strong beer without the belly?!  Help me save my gut and share with me your summer choices; extra points if they're healthier options than beer and still have that strong, bitter taste. 

Leg Day...who needs it?

Some of you may know that this summer I've taken on several projects.  After finishing the veggie bed two weeks ago, the man-candy & I jumped right into the next (& much longer project) of re-doing our ENTIRE deck.

We spent all of last week staining & Monday & Tuesday of this week placing boards just on the front leg of our deck.  My ass & thighs are insanely sore from bending, stooping & squatting.

Instead of just bending at the waist, I thought I'd work my legs & ass by engaging those muscles, as well as tightening my core, when needing to rip out old screws (which believe it or not is the HARDEST part given that the screws are old, sunk, & stuck in 30 year old swollen boards), set in new boards, & screw those in place.   The result is the most productive ass & leg work out I'd ever imagined.

The problem of course lies in the lack of range of leg & ass exercises (since it's mostly squats, dead lifts, & the skip-a-step lunges on the stairs since the deck is on the second floor).  BUT since I'm using real life scenarios (muscles being engaged all over the body), I don't feel entirely lacking just yet. 

It made me think about how I sometimes would carry my groceries from the car into the house in one trip while lifting them like dumbbells, how I would walking lunges while vacuuming, or ass & thigh clenches during my crazy long commute in grad school.  How do you incorporate "exercise" into your daily routine?  Share your tips below!

Bitchin' Fresh Perfect for Summer Salad Too Delish to Provide a Photo

What is it about summer that makes us forget which day is which?

We here at Muscles, Madness, & Martinis not only work hard but PLAY HARD, too.  

And since it's summer, we're all playing twice as hard (and thus blowing off our blog posts). Stef is biking around and being a sexy new wife. Melissa is soaking up rays and rocking her hot CrossFit bod at the river. Kat, the beautiful seductress, is escaping the heat by beating her best run times in the morning and cooking delish new recipes. Andrea is coolly enjoying the temps by mermaiding it like a stunning little water nymph in her pool, but still maintaining her regular fitness routine.

Me?

If I'm not tearing at the man-candy's clothes (brings new meaning to playing hard, wink wink), I'm outdoors working in new veggies into our new backyard garden and now, the latest enterprise, re-doing our entire deck.  It's a 600+ square foot deck in an L-shaped formation on the second story of our house.  The wood (after several years of inadequate sealing & snow-shoveling & dogs scratching & thumping along the wall) so we're replacing it almost board-for-board.

What does this have to do with a "Bitchin' Fresh Perfect-for-Summer-Salad Too Delish to Provide a Photo"?

Well, a long day in the sun means I am NOT cooking.  Oven/stove will NOT go on.  Besides, my body craves water-dense foods.  Thus, I present:

The Bitchin' Fresh Perfect-for-Summer-Salad Too Delish to Provide a Photo

Directions:

1/2 Big Ass Bowl of Cut Romaine Lettuce
1/2 Big Ass Bowl of Baby Spinach
Handful of Blueberries
1/2 Apple, diced
Small Handful of Walnuts, chopped or halved
1/5 Avocado (depending on the amount of walnuts; healthy fats in moderation!)
2 Smatterings (teaspoon or tablespoon depending on the size of your big ass bowl) of Apple Cider Vinegar
2 Smatterings (teaspoon or tablespoon depending on the size of your big ass bowl) of Olive Oil

You can top with cold slices of leftover steak or chunks of chicken--any leftover, really.  There is something about the creaminess of avocado with the walnuts and blueberries that sends my tastebuds over the edge.

Note: I ate this too quickly to take a photo (the title of this blog makes sense now, eh?), plus I didn't want to be accused of being a hipster since I Instagrammed my lunch yesterday.


So, this is what my summer tastes like--what about yours?

A Moment of Madness & Hippy Self-love Speak

Right now I'm sneaking a break between a massive overhaul of cleaning the house.  We're having family come stay a few days with us to celebrate my stepson's graduating high school (I CANNOT believe it's happening already!), and spaces that are already clean somehow don't look clean enough (of course).

On a wonderful note, dusting and scrubbing is a bitch because I pounded out an arm work-out from hell yesterday and the guns are banging (or some better metaphor like that).  I love to complain (brag) when my body is sore.

The man-candy is amazing, gripping a bottle of bleach in one hand and a Swiffer duster in the other. In our house, there are no gender roles regarding chores, just "I'll trade you mopping and I'll clean the toilet" and other forms of bartering.  I hate mopping. HATE it. Thus, enter the chore bartering and of course obligatory Bloody Marys to lessen the pain. 

What is it about company, particularly family, that stresses us to put our homes on best behavior?  It makes me wonder: What am I hiding? What am I afraid of? At this exact moment, I'm not wearing deodorant (you all remember that post, right?) and the man-candy still gropes me as we pass along the stairs.  So what am I really worried about?

To which I answer, nothing (except getting eating by carnivorous dust bunnies hiding under the sofa), because admitting to myself that I am worried that family might find me dirty or not good enough is embarrassing to admit (even to myself). 

There's a lot to be said about putting your best self forward, but what if your best self is the self you are everyday, with all its grit and failure and quirk?  What if we stopped hyper-cleaning these spaces for other people and clean them well enough for ourselves? 

I have dusted already this morning and even now (in the early afternoon) there is a thick layer of bright yellow pollen settling on all my furniture.  It is the season for merciless shedding of pine pollen and no amount of dusting (twice a day) makes it stop.

I've done my part, I've cleaned and Nature will still have her feisty way with me. Fine then, I'll surrender to being less than perfect, if sterile furniture is somehow a litmus for perfection.  Chances are, my family will still love me even if the veneer of pollen sticks to the tables and sills, or if the shower doors aren't scrubbed quite clear enough or if my dog Juno lets out a tart, ripe fart while we share a cup of coffee.  The reality is, I need to love myself enough that those things won't block me from my enjoying the present moment of being with family.

Allergies, shmallergies

I had a very very important meeting last Friday and woke up with a violent headache, nauseousness, & nasal congestion (no, Mom, I'm not pregnant). It's allergy season, and it's showing me no mercy. I REFUSE to take things like Benadryl or Claritin (with or without the Decongestant) which leave me feeling tweaky and crack-headed.

Fast forward 15 minutes later into the meeting and I'm breathing free and clear, headache gone, and stomach settled. In fact, I'm feeling pretty darn good about myself.

What magic is this?

Let me start by sharing that I've had allergies for as long as I can remember and my symptoms have been just awful.  Since nauseousness has been one of the symptoms, I have long thought there was something scarier than allergies at the root of the issue. 

About a month ago I had complained about this on my Facebook page and a friend of minesaid she suffered from the same issues.  A few weeks later she sent me a roll-on bottle of Volcano Oil by Maui Excellent. (Thanks, Veronika!!)

I never heard of this oil, let alone this company, before and applied just a bit on my wrists and inhaled.  The aroma is subtle-but-energizing blend of: eucalyptus, camphor, peppermint, wintergreen, menthol, spearmint, tea tree, oils of apricot, sweet almond, safflower, jojoba, grapeseed, canola, macadamia nut, kukui nut, and vitamins A & E.  The oil itself is smooth, not greasy and a little goes a long way.

Before my meeting I applied on my wrists and rubbed from my wrists onto my temples and third eye spot as well as added a small dab under my nose.  The meeting, as well as the rest of the day, was smooth running.  I'm not sure how I've gone so long without knowing about this oil nor why it's not in the self-medication section of our drugstores. I'm so glad I don't have to choose between feeling ill or feeling (and looking) like a rehab candidate.

What are your go-to methods for beating allergy season?  

A Recipe for your Skin That's Good Enough to Eat! (I just wouldn't recommend it)

Even though it's spring, my skin is still battling winter dryness.  I live in the dry mountains so even if the days are warm, the evenings and mornings are still cool.  My showers have not lessened in intensity of their boiling temperatures.  Because of the hot-cold-hot-cold game, my skin is dry and actually crackly.

To combat icky dry crackling skin and get supple, smooth, and silky, here's a DIY skin scrub I ADORE.  I only need to use it 1-2 times a week for long-lasting results.

*1 part oil (olive, safflower, grapeseed; if using olive oil use 1-2 tblspoons of vanilla to mask the smell of the olive oil)
*1 part brown sugar (you can use coarse/kosher salt, but if you have cracking skin I would stick to sugar)
*1.5 parts oatmeal

Mix dry ingredients then stir in oil.  You can add scented essential oils in lieu of the vanilla; eucalyptus, lavender, and sweet orange are fantastic options or you can add a drop or two of clove oil for a more musky "masculine" smell (ew, did I really just gender-ize a smell????).

Rub onto skin in a circular motion on affected areas (back, elbows, legs, etc.) either before showering or even inside the shower, prior to shaving.

Warning: your lover may be compelled to uncontrollably nibble on your skin. Proceed with caution and much debauchery. 

Also, here are some other amazing oatmeal options for amazing skin from The Daily Green.

What are some of your homemade DIY skin-recipes? Share them with us in the comments section!

The Disease of Busy-ness (that is not a typo) & How There is No Such Thing as Multi-Tasking (nor Santa)

Chances are that you are probably reading this blog post on your Iphone while standing in line at the grocery store half-chatting with the checkout clerk and half-yelling at the kids NO, you cannot have a candy bar.  That's ok with me, as I don't presume to be sharing any earth-shattering ground-breaking news.

But maybe that's a small part of the bigger problem.  My lack of confidence that says, "Go ahead and be distracted." And the other part being, you, on your Iphone.

Now, before you send me any "Looky here, bitch" messages, think about it.  We are busy ALL THE TIME.  We think we're the kings and queens of multi-tasking....but are we?

Truth is, there is no such thing as being a master of multi-tasking (except maybe Santa who delivers all those toys at the same time, but he doesn't really exist).  You are either exceptional at doing several things terribly to moderately ok all at the same time, OR you are exceptional at doing one thing fantastically well at a single time.  There is no such thing as being able to give 100% and being able to multi-task, but the corporate world and necessity of a double income home and the modern (in)conveniences all say that we can.

During a recent interview, I was asked how well am I able to multi-task.  I gave the usual exceptional response and gave examples from both my subbing and administrative/legal background.  But the truth is, I am terrible at it, and for them to ask me shows me that they are terrible at it, too.  Scientific studies have proven time and time again how we are incapable of performing several tasks at one time.  Otherwise, parents would not feel so frazzled when trying to simultaneously cook dinner and feed the baby and answer the phone.  The receptionist in your office typically isn't given high-priority/detail-oriented tasks because (s)he experiences too many interruptions. Realistically, successful multi-tasking is the ability to properly prioritize several tasks demanded upon you at any given time.  The problem is, that we are all so busy and pumped full of a "I-have-to" mentality that we fail to prioritize things properly. 

This can be related to doing work (of course, by this I mean hitting the gym).  Some of you needed that initial motivator of a buddy to get your workouts going, but when you decided to hit it hard and go deeper, chances are you went your separate ways.  You both needed to focus, with nothing but music as your metronome and cold steel as your sparring partner.  The initial days of chatting while jogging on the track or in the neighborhood were long gone when you decided to sign up for your second 5- or 10k marathon.  That buddy system wasn't wrong, in fact, it was brilliant!  It was the entryway for you to develop a deeper practice.  But there came a time when you realized that you couldn't run your goal time or hit your legs quite as hard when you kept rehashing last night's episode of Sons of Anarchy.

So why multi-task at all? Because there is a societal guilt that if we can't do all the things we basically suck at life.  Which is why in the middle of my breast exam yesterday, my ob-gyn thought it was ok to pick up her cell phone even when she did not recognize the number.

But, of course that's not true (I mean the-suck-at-life-if-we-can't-do-it-all part, not the mid-booby-massage-cell-phone-pick-up which totally happened). Think about it: there isn't a single one X-Men character that can do everything.  Instead, they are each specialized in one area of awesome. You don't see them boo-hooing that they can't fly and transform and burn shit all the same time.  Instead, they're like, hey I'll just use this one awesome way of saving the world or killing you instead of trying to be all busy with too many powers to use at one time.

So, don't be a douchebag.  Get off your Iphone, firmly tell your kid to pipe down with the diabetes, and smile and engage with your checkout clerk. Chances are (s)he isn't impressed with how busy and multi-tasky you are and guess what?  Since you took that little extra moment to be present, to use gym-like focus and be all X-Men awesome in this now, you won't drive like a distracted jerk on your way home. I'll be sure to honk and wave in appreciation when I see you.



Oh, and PS:  I was kidding.  There is a Santa.  He's an X-Men, too.

The (Not-So-)Gentle Art of the Workout Hairstyle: A Guide for Long Hair

 My hair has gotten pretty long over the last few years. In 2009 I cut it all off leaving only some long chops, but it’s now grown to what I call “stripper-length” and measures almost 3 feet in length from root to tip. It’s soft and medium thickness and has a slight natural wave that straightens out the longer it gets.

Sounds all wonderful and magical and unicorn-status, right? 

Wrong. It’s a pain in my ass, really. 

Every night, I have to gently tie it up with a snag-free hairband and keep it to the side that I’m not sleeping on, otherwise a single-restless night of sleep will have me ripping at tumbleweeds (my hair) in the morning. I have to lean into the center of the car if I roll the window up while driving or risk my hair getting sucked up and out the window (it’s been caught in the car door and seat belt, also). I can’t sit back against chairs without lowering my head first to my chin (so as to allow some give in my hair) otherwise it has me pinned. My dog will chew and swallow my hair (while it’s still attached to my head and yes I have to PULL IT FROM HIS THROAT) and it always manages to shake loose in my shift for an unreachable itch that lasts all day.

But the worst of it is when I am working out. While most women can put their hair into a ponytail, a bun or pig tails, my workout determines which hair style I rock. For those of you with long locks, hopefully this blog will help shed some light on a hairy situation.


Jogging, Running, Weight-lifting 
Chosen hairstyle: The high ponytail.
Details: It has to be tied using at least two snag-free bands otherwise the softness and weight of my hair pulls the ponytail down from the top to the bottom. I’ve tried the bun and it inevitably flops over and smacks me in the head. Pigtails are more like a whipping when they aren’t rubbing against my arms or getting caught in my armpits (particularly when doing overhead hangs or pull-ups).


Yoga 
Chosen hairstyle: The single side braid or pigtails*. 
Details: This hairstyle comes with an asterisk as a warning, because even with the hair loosely tied up, I still find a way of stepping on it (Down-dog) or eating it (Triangle poses). But it’s better than the alternatives: The pony tail pulls the scalp too much for me to feel connected in my asanas and gets in the way of the any supine poses, whereas the bun is bothersome in Down-dog and, particularly, Dolphin pose. I’ve tried leaving my hair down and completely untied as if it were some loose flowing tapestry where every fiber serves as some energetic antennae connecting with the Divine & Great Universe, but that graceful image only serves well in photos as I trip over my own hair and have ripped chunks out during even the most relaxing and cooling of sequences.


Hiking 
Chosen hairstyle: The bun. 
Details: Not just any bun, the messy bun. The messier the better, because for me my hair has a hard time holding what I call the “blogger bun” (because all those fashion bloggers rocked it for a long time, but most of you may know it as the “sock bun”). My hair being so soft requires some funk and texture for it to hold a bun. While hiking, hair in or on my face, neck ,or arms drives me absolutely insane. I work up more of a sweat hiking then I do most anything else and the combination of heat and sweat and hair is enough for me to kick a deer if one were to come along my hike. Oh, and did I add that I use at 3 snag-free hair ties for the bun?


Reading a book,  Drinking Wine (Shut up. I swear, these are workouts.)
Chosen Hairstyle: Loose & down. 
Details: When reading a book, I get antsy during the intense parts and start to fidget. I use my hair to shield my eyes or to pull on when I’m anxious to see what happens next or even as a bookmark in a pinch. Also, everyone knows that leaving hair loose while drinking wine is a quick resource for mopping up spills. But it does end up getting tangled or whipped around into my glass.


So why the long hair?
Because with short hair (or a mustache), I look EXACTLY like my Dad (See Exhibit A). And it’s one thing to look like my Dad, and another to be stopped along the street and asked how much I’m selling my Ranchero for (I don't have a Ranchero; he does) and would I work a deal for a small pick-up (the answer would be no, so stop asking me). So there it is.

Exhibit A.

Go-to Veggies

I realized that in my lifetime I have been OBSESSED with:

- kale
- asparagus
- cabbage
- red/green lettuces
- spinach
- mushrooms
- sweet potatoes
- avocado (isn't this technically a fruit?)
- eggplant

By obsessed I mean, having to eat at least 4 times or more during the week so as to avoid/give into cravings. Mostly, I end up adding a little olive oil and (if quick pan frying/searing) garlic salt. (I *may* have added a little butter to mushrooms at one time; don't judge--it could have been a cheat day.) 

I noticed that most of my favorite veggies tend to be green (kale, spinach, lettuces, green onion, etc.).

What are your go-to veggies? How do you cook them up? Inspire me so my family can have some variety in their diets! ;-)

What Time is Your Workout?

I'm beat, I'm worn down and it's only 7.15 pm (Tuesday afternoon). I'm avoiding my phone because 3 different people sent me messages and I simply have no energy to respond.  In fact, it's taking all my strength to type this blog right now.  Why am I so tired?

Junior-highers.  I'm currently doing a long-term subbing experience and, WOW, those 7th-graders are SO WILY .  Good kids, but OI!  how they do require so much more attention and repeating and reminding and PATIENCE (and they only account for 2 of the 5 classes I'm subbing).  Toss in my late twilight trysts with that dirty little time-whore, Insomnia, lasting anywhere from 1 to 2 hours (it seems Insomnia is needy and desperate and can't live without me), and add a dash of the hot, dry, windy town in which I'm subbing (it's much cooler in the mountains where I live, and as my acupuncturist once told me, I am allergic to wind) and... I'm just beat.

I haven't worked out since Sunday and I can't bring myself to get off this couch unless it means going to bed right now, reading (A Storm of Swords; what can I say, I'm a Game of Thrones addict) myself to my first round of sleep and forgoing my work out.  I keep saying, I'll wake up extra early and do my work out then, like I used.  But extra early means long before my current 5 am rooster crow and I just can't relinquish those few little extra hours of sleep when Insomnia stalks me out nightly.

I know, I know. I'm bitching to an audience that has long-since put on their big girl panties and made the decision to work out no matter how early/how late/how tired you feel.  And I'll do that, too (like tomorrow!), but it made me wonder how many of you are early birds or afternooners?  And did you choose that time out of convenience or because you read somewhere that then was the best time to work out?  

There is actually a lot of info on what the best time to work out is and the reviews are mixed.  Here are a few reasons why early morning workouts are so great according to an article on BoxingScene.com:


-Over 90% of people who exercise *consistently*, exercise in the morning. If you want to exercise
consistently, odds are in your favor if you exercise first thing in the morning.

-When you exercise early in the morning, it "jump starts" your metabolism and keeps it elevated
for hours, sometimes up to 24 hours! That means you're burning more calories all day long just because you exercised in the morning!

-Many people find that morning exercise "regulates" their appetite for the day - that they
aren't as hungry and that they make better food choices. Several people have told me that it puts
them in a "healthy mindset."

-Research has demonstrated that exercise increases mental acuity. On average it lasts four to ten hours after exercise! No sense in wasting that brain power while you're sleeping. :)


And now, the defenses for an afternoon workout from a Shine.com article:

-Everyone else is doing it: If procrastination is your middle name, it's easy to say you're going to work out, but then find a million reasons to put it off until it's 6 p.m. when you're too starved to even think about exercise. Around lunch is a popular time to sweat it out — you'll probably even notice a few of your co-workers slipping out of the office and heading out with gym bag in hand. Getting inspired by joining the pack at the same time every day is one way to make sure you don't skip out on your workout, and once you do it for a few weeks, it'll become a habit. 

-Reduced risk of injury: Since your body has been awake for several hours, it's had more time to move around and get the blood flowing. Heading into a noon workout means your mind is more alert, which can prevent injuries caused by morning grogginess (like falls or forgetting to use equipment properly). A warmed-up body is also less tense and more flexible, lowering your risk of a pulled muscle. As an added bonus, when your body feels more open, you're more likely to work out harder and longer. 

-Saves calories, burns calories: If you have plans to meet a friend for a noon yoga class, you know you can't down an enormous meal beforehand without feeling gassy and sluggish, so that's one way a noon workout saves calories. Plus you'll burn 300 or more calories on the hour-long workout, and since brisk exercise has been shown to suppress your appetite you'll feel inspired to eat something light and healthy for lunch afterward (instead of blowing all your hard work on a 1,400 calorie burger and fries).  That midday workout can also give you energy later on in the day, avoiding the need for a high-calorie late afternoon pick-me-up.

So the jury is tied...or is it?  What do you think?

Blogger Edit:  I did put on my big girl panties (and sweats) and squatted and lunged til my ass was on fire this afternoon.  Feels good, but I am certainly more energetic and enthused in the morning.

Controversy: Love Your Body NO MATTER What Size

I’m writing this blog today hoping that those close to me won’t roll their eyes having to read what I’ve been bitching about the last couple of weeks. Ah, well… here goes:

Recently on a Fitness blog (er, Facebook page, rather) the admin wrote that when people claim to love their body at any size, it was a cop-out that kept people from pushing hard in the gym and from achieving health. I say: Yes and No.

Yes, for some it is a cop-out phrase.  In fact, most of us have used it circumstantially: indulging in one more slice (small, I swear!) of chocolate cake, hitting the snooze button instead of hitting the gym (what’s one rest day?), or swinging through Carl’s Jr. for their $6 Bacon Guacamole Burger (lots of protein in that, right? But hold the onions because they make me gassy). Those are just a few *ahem* random examples. ;-P

And again, that phrase “Love your body at any size” is entirely circumstantial. I do not know a single woman at ANY size or level of physique that has fully and adequately loved their body.  With all this self-denigrating, body-loathing so pervasive in our culture, this is just the TIP of why this fitness blog admin’s post pisses me off. She went on to say she just meant “unhealthy size”.  That was the exact term she used, with no index of what “unhealthy size” meant. The coupling of this term is problematic. Here’s why:

“Unhealthy” could mean incorporation of any of the following: 

--Consumption of sugar, salt, processed foods 
--Consumption of dairy, non-pasteurized dairy 
 --Consumption of meat 
--Consumption of carbs; grains, wheat 
--Consumption of alcohol 
--Eating more than 3 times a day 
--Eating less than 5-6 small meals a day 
--Eating fat/Not eating any fat/Eating low-fat 

You and I can sit here all day and argue for and against each of these bullet points. Fruit contains sugar—should I cut that out? The protein powders used and highly regarded on that Fitness blog (as well as many others) contain both salt and processing (sugar as well!), so should those be eliminated? Dairy causes inflammation; meat is murder (please don’t sue me for infringement, Morissey) and can spike our cholesterol. But dairy and meat both contain excellent proteins (where do you think we get whey protein from!?) Also, wine and beer have proven to be good for both the memory and the heart, carbs = energy, and fat is good for heart and joint health. As far as meals go, 5-6 small meals can wreak havoc on a stomach if there is no digestive “rest” and eating only 3 meals a day can lower energy levels and bodily processes.

So there it is. Everything healthy is really unhealthy and vice-versa, right? Well, no, that’s not the point. Because the human body is so dynamic and complex, “healthy” is an adjective. It’s a descriptor, not a noun or classification. My friend who suffers from celiac disease can’t eat gluten, but I can. My other friend who has a family history of high cholesterol and heart disease won’t eat meat, but I do (too many nut proteins cause my skin to break out). My husband drinks copious amounts of coffee and would close down a Starbucks in an hour if they ever offered all-you-can-drink-French-Roast and is in tip-top running shape like a sleek cheetah, but if I have more than two cups I’m having an anxiety attack.

As an adjective, “healthy” contains more shades of grey than that damn book I can’t bring myself to read. What works for me does not work for you, and vice versa. I can’t run hard with my bum knee; a friend of mine can’t do certain lifting or asanas because of her bum back. Luckily, there are many ways to color ourselves “healthy” beyond the "what works for that chick/dude" mentality.

This brings me to the misuse of the word “size”. We all know Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 in her day (which I think is what we call an 8 or 10 now?). But I also know that Scarlett Johansen, J-Lo and Kim Kardashian are not size 2s and they are still physically delicious (I know debatable).  Even Alicia Marie or Kim Lyon (Fitness & Figure competitors) won’t fit a size 2 and their weight (not fat percentile) is actually in the mid-upper range of what constitutes a healthy BMI. Curiously enough, in looking at that Fitness blog admin’s photos, one friend commented how it did not inspire her while another found the photos wholly inspiring. The difference is not in the fault of the blog admin's body, but in each of my friends’ own ideas of what they wanted to achieve personally: leaning out and being thin and ripped, or gaining muscle mass and definition without cutting.

Again the beauty of the human body is how different we all are. Our bodies are literally different shapes (often described as endo-/ecto-/meso-morphs) and capable of pushing different boundaries. There is no one single fitness regimen/eating plan that fits every single person.

THE ONLY SHOULD THAT SHOULD EXIST IS THIS: 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD IN FACT LOVE THEIR BODY NO MATTER WHAT SIZE OR SHAPE. (And men, this can include you, as well, but as this is an unfortunate soul-sucking, self-denigrating discussion among us in the vaginally-equipped community I’m directing my discussion and gendered terms/pronouns there.) 

Loving is a verb, an action word. If we are incapable of loving ourselves and that means ALL of ourselves, then we are forever unhealthy. We all love people who have characteristics or habits that piss us off, and yet we still love them, right? So why can’t we love all of ourselves in spite of our perceived flaws?

Specific to this blog: Love your body right now. Love those curves, those stretch marks, love all over those sagging parts, those scarred or atrophied places. The moment you realize that those are all wonderful pieces worthy of your attention, you will be granted the freedom to do with them what you will. Eat and train to create them into what you want, or leave them as they are in their natural occurring state. You can always love your body no matter what size, without having to love that size.  That number doesn't carry any value until you assign it value.  The joy and beauty lies in it being your choice—your choice to love yourself as you wish and NO ONE, not me nor Hollywood nor the IFBB nor that admin on that Fitness blog can ever tell you what that should look like, and ESPECIALLY never ever ever to tell you to not love yourself as you are. 

And that, my friends, is what happens when you piss off a dirty hippy. She writes a blog post and sends you all love.

Love and light, especially to that Fitness blogger.

Woohoo! They're Up!!!

My sprouts, I mean!

Last week, the man-candy and I planted 3 trays of gooseberries, tomatoes, and spinach all from seedlings. We’ve planted before but always from a little plant; this is our first year growing from seed.

Barely a week later, the spinach is popping up! Gorgeous little babies no bigger than a blade of grass. How exciting!! And they just pop up overnight. Yesterday morning, we counted 4 trays having any sign of sprouts (in the photo, you can see a small nubbin peeking its little head out!). Yesterday afternoon, there were at least seven. Yay! (We're still waiting on the tomatoes & gooseberries, but they have a longer growing season than the spinach.)

Even though it's Spring, we live in the mountains and our nights are still dipping into below freezing temperatures, our kitchen table looks like a newbie nursery of plant babies. We daily taking them out to be in the sun and while watering them, we speak to them as if they were our own little human babies (ok, I do this, the man-candy doesn’t.)  They come in before the sun goes down so their little plant toes don't get to cold. 

We have more seeds left to plant (we need to snag more trays) and plan to grow more lettuces, as well as other produce: zucchini, squash, cucumbers, chilis, bell peppers, etc. and even berries though everyone advises us against this (but I have faith in the man-candy’s green thumb; he’s taught me everything I know about planting.)

Last year we ended up with an overwhelming amount of tomatoes (as well as apples from our 3 trees) and are considering asking locally to do a harvest swap. Do you any of you participate in swaps or even community gardens? Or do you grow just for you/your family? And what are you growing?

A Kind of Cross-Training

Most of the time I'm a big Yoga nut, but that doesn't mean that I don't spend time moving my body in other ways.

I love love LOVE lifting weights.  I have a hard time mixing in the two (yoga and weight-lifting) because I always feel like I have to big or go home.  This might sound funny when speaking of yoga on the mat, but holding postures for longer breaths, flexing & tightening muscles and/or moving deeper into stretches beyond initial limits is actually really difficult and if I go really vigorous, it's taxing on the body to throw another workout on top of that. 

So I've been doing the every other day thing, rigorous yoga one day and a weight-lifting workout the next day.  And my weight-lifting workout typically consists of moving the whole body to create agni (fire), then focusing on legs or arms (my yoga practice is a little more evenly distributed, but even then I will push arms or legs harder at times).

I've actually fallen in love with the Oxygen Magazine sequence because it holds me accountable to my own ability to push through to the other side.

I also love that I'm moving toward failure using my own strength, not just pounding out a number of reps and sets.  Let's face it, our lives our too encumbered with numbers (weight lifted, calories, scales, etc.) so it helps release that OCD sensation of counting (or am I the only one that gets wiggy about having to count everything?!).

I've only been following this sequence for a couple of weeks now, but I can already feel the difference in my legs.  I also throw in kneeling donkey kicks too, or some Pilates-Ballet style moves that help me stretch my legs in a slower & more controlled movement.

For those of you who do several styles of working out/cross-training, how do you find balance?  Do you switch every other day? 

Roll Call: My Fave Fit Femme Figures

 
In setting some new goals for myself, I found myself drawing inspiration from some personal She-roes I have filed  in what I call my Goddess Rolodex (don't worry, this is different than a binder full of women).  The Goddess Rolodex is  a catalogue of inspirational women from which I draw inspiration.  The three women here have been in my Goddess Rolodex since the early millennial years and they certainly won't be leaving.

Maggie Diubaldo

            The first Fitness & Figure competitor that I came across that inspired me to begin pushing my fitness to another level.  I felt a connection to her elongated frame; even though I only stand at 5’6”, my limbs are long and can sometimes appear too lanky when I thin out too much.  Maggie Diubaldo’s lean, lithe & STRONG figure is the perfect example of how women can still look and feel feminine with a muscular and toned physique.

Tosca Reno

            Insanely fit and dedicated.  Her story reveals that as an adult, she weighed over 230 lbs. Nearing age 50, she decided she was done with it and began incorporating clean-eating (it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle) and body-building principles for sheer health.  Tosca Reno then went on to compete and won many competitions.  She became the CEO of Oxygen FitnessMagazine, of which I have been a dutiful subscriber since 2005! 

Sean Corne

            The first Yogi I encountered that made me go, “Wow!”  Her figure (and that luxurious hair!) is not only physically stunning, but her heart is a stunner, too!  Seane Corne participates in an organization called Off the Mat, Into the World which uses yoga to power and inspire change and activism in communities around the globe.

These are just a few of the AMAZING women who inspire me.  Who is in your Goddess Rolodex and why?

Tantrum Yoga

I have developed a habit of meditating every morning right after I wake up.  Most times, I roll out of bed first to pee, but immediately come back to the warmest spot in the house (my bed) and sit meditation for at least ten minutes. I observe what Buddhists refer to as monkey-mind, or what I like to call, the pendulum swing between monkeys sleeping  and monkeys going full-blown dookie-throwing ape-shit.   

Because I didn’t sit meditation on this particular morning, I just *knew* my day would just be brilliant. 

I sped through a bunch of errands in the morning as I anticipated two phone calls, which never came.  I had not set up phone dates with either of these people, but because of recent contact with them in which I solicited my services, I (or rather, Ego) naturally assumed that I would be tied up with getting those projects going.

Of course: no phone call came.

In my irritation at them not recognizing the opportunity that I am (Ego speaking loudly here), and not JUMPING to snatch me up, I hastily threw together a heavily processed lunch involving a high count of sugars/simple carbs.  I topped it off with a huge mug of coffee to wash it down.

I blew off my to-do list (no one was going to tell Ego what to do) and restlessly worked on various projects for a couple of hours with jittery A.D.D. strength when remembered I hadn’t worked out yet. 

Ugh. 

Treadmill? Weights? Ugh.  No--that all involved with counting reps, sets, and repeating moves over and over again.  I did NOT want to count. (Yes, I really didn’t lift weights/run for that reason.)

I grabbed my yoga mat and stared at it for a whole minute.

Ugh.

The last thing I wanted to do was to stop or slow down.  I had to keep going, keep moving.  For me, yoga right would be like driving a Porsche (Ego here again) at 220 mph into brick wall deceptively camoflauged to look like feathers.  How the hell was I going to move in slow motion and focus on my in-breath/out-breath? 

Naturally, my dogs sensed my mood, woke from their naps and followed my lead, but felt compelled to vocalize their ape-shit thoughts.  Here, let me translate their conversation : 

Mom! Mom! Juno won't play with me!

 

No, look at that hot bitch outside walking their human! Aye mami!  Let me get a sniff of that!

Oh look, half a ball.  Let’s toss it on Mom’s mat!

  

No, I’d rather copulate with myself ! Noisily!

Hey look! A bird!

I want to pee!

I want to talk!

Loud noises!

I want to talk AND pee!

(Believe it or not, I’m still a dog lover.) 
(I also want to apologize for how this font turns my exclamation points into lower case Ls.)  
I let my wily canines out, rolled out my mat,  and said, “I HATE YOU.”  I meant it.  My mat said nothing in return.

What followed was a violent barrage of quick asanas.  There was no hold-this-pose-for-three-breaths.  Instead, it was a furious dance of anger.  Plank was held by pissed-off balled fists instead of flattened palms.  Jumping my feet forward to move into Chair pose felt like a stomping into a person's chest.  When I moved into Warrior I, I fought the urge to raise only my middle fingers to the sky.

Somewhere in my yoga tantrum, I stopped thinking about my anger. I can’t say that I stopped feeling it, because the rate of my movement through my free-style sequence would say otherwise and I can still feel the agni (fire) burning through me while writing this.  But that violent, bitter edge is off.

I know I could have gone hard with weights or pushed it on the treadmill, but somehow my body knew that the fight was me-against-me (that is, the collective “I” against that one pushy sector, Ego) and that I needed to take it to the mat.

Do I feel like skipping on the playground and planting flowers right now? No.  But I certainly don’t feel like shoving kids off the jungle gym & ripping bulbs from the ground.  Tomorrow, I won't hastily throw a sugary lunch together and I certainly won’t forgo my morning centering practice.  But if I ever do, at least I know where I can get free 24-hour access to a boxing ring.

Meditation exercises Via Connie

So the Fabulous Connie, our Wednesday blogger shared this with me and I'm going to start doing them and I think you should too. They are 15 minute meditations for your health lead by Deepak Chopra. Too cool not to share, let us know what you think. the link below will take you to the sign in page and you can just sign in with facebook (easy) or create a log in.
Happy Tuesday Everyone :)
http://www.chopracentermeditation.com/Bestsellers/LoginPage.aspx?BookId=178